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PX
This. (diary of the potted plant)
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- the following "blahg"* [please scroll down] consists of excerpts from
[* warning: contains explicit language not suitable for children or sensitive individuals ]
[* other warning: Eats, Shoots and
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pxthis.com entry WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 26, 2007. 12:17PM yah so i wanted to tell all about this great e-mail i got yesterday that i just finished reading for like the fourth time. well anyways here are the bestest parts: "I come back from a weekend of meditation and bliss and for some retarded reason the potted plant and her wacky website come into my mind..." oh ! before i show any more of the e-mail i should probably clarify it was sent to me from the "sagittarius" dude-- i mentioned him the other day i said he read my palm over lunch. i didn't elaborate much about him then so i guess now would be a good time to explain more.
well. it turns out this dude is slightly atypical he actually has something entertaining to say. and apparently he is some mid thirties retired former financial banker broker type dude who made enough money to last a lifetime, trading stocks and bonds and porkbellies and whatnot. well anyways to make a interminable story long, this retired former financial dude ends up staying to chat all the way up until closing time. then right then and there, this mid thirties retired former financial sagittarius dude decides he is going to read my book. so i start thinking to myself aha ha ha ha aa uh why exactly ? cuz i mean-- he already told me he doesn't know jack shit about restaurants, and he definitely doesn't strike me as the gossip-loving-snarkfest-feeding-page-six-whoring type.
i really don't think he is just giving me this lovely song and dance sending me three page e-mails and the whole bit just because he thinks i am smokin. i mean, of course that's probably a big part of it but let's get really serious. ya think any man works THAT hard for pussy ? no fucking way. anyhoo. what was my point "Something struck me as I entered PXThis.com. And these spontaneous instincts are very important to pay attention to. Actually intuition is the better word. An instinct is a spontaneous response from the body. An intuition is a spontaneous response from the soul. This was an intuition...." eeheee you gotta admit that's just a wee bit atypical. "I don't even think you realize how smart you are, because it seems to me you're surrounded by dumb people." hahahahahaa i like THAT. that's hott. "Its not that your life story is not interesting to the masses. Its very interesting, but as with anything intelligent and creative, it takes some time for the masses to catch on." yah! word! the Masses are idiotarded! what the hells is wrong with them they're Mass-orons. parisperezhilton proliferating bitches!
ya think so huh ? hmm.
"I need to read the rest of that NOW.... Email me the rest of that [sept 23rd] entry....! You know, I came back so peaceful, so relaxed, without a care in the world.......and now the suspense is killing me!!" really ? killing you ? you don't say. is that right ? oh. well then LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY WHO MADE ME A PROMISE HAS AN AMAZON BOOK REVIEW TO WRITE. :) [p.s. thank you sir ! and xoxo] • september 26, 2007. "patience, young grasshopper- PART II" • COMMENT on this entry (registration required) |
"... kept a diary in which she vented all her frustration -- and named names." "...has been exposed as a poor customer in a new book by former maitre d' to the stars Abbe Diaz. Diaz, who hosted dozens of top New York restaurants, says in her memoirs PX This the Oscar-winning actress wasn't the most pleasant of customers..." "...is so annoyed by the success of his former Maitre D' Abbe Diaz's new tell-all book, he is forcing his employees to sign confidentiality agreements. They were also banned from discussing the [book] at work." - The New York Post "Abbe Diaz is a blogger and the author of the caustic restaurant expose 'PX This!'..."
contact us with questions/comments/tips:
HIGHLIGHTS and HOT TOPICS - the HOSTESS DIARIES CONSPIRACY? - abbe diaz ejected from JeanGeorges, - did Morandi's chef jody-williams plant a grasshopper in a Mangia wrap? - an open letter to Page Six's Corynne Steindler - addressing Eater.com's inaccuracies about - addressing Gawker.com's inaccuracies about theForum@ PX This. - addressing Gawker.com's other inaccuracies about theForum @ PX This. - "geesus, it's like all journalistic standards go out the window when it comes to [abbe diaz]..."
other buzzzz about abbe diaz: - Who is Abbe Diaz...? - ‘PX This’ Series Moves Forward Despite CBS’ Celeb-Chef Sitcom - Abbe Diaz Rats Out... Searches for Self on Craigslist - Self-Publishing Ruins Author/Agent Friendship - Hey, How'd You Publish an Industry Tell-All? - Abbe Diaz: Talk Loudly - Ex-maitre d' Shown Door - Chef Roman à Clef: "I'm not Abbe" - Mind Your Manners... - Those Who Can't, Hire Consultants - Abbe Diaz Takes the Fifth... - Is our mystery roman a clef writer Boston's $2.45Million Dollar Bartender? - Is Abbe Diaz Behind another Crazy Food Scandal? - 'Sympathy' Responds, Declines to Admit Identity - Abbe Diaz Accuses Eater - Go For Toque Abbe Diaz to Greenhouse: "Suck It" - Endorsement for the Day - If Two is a Trend... - A Blogger's Peril at La Esquina - The Long-Winded History of Graydon Carter and Jean-Georges Vongerichten - Leigh Haber Takes Her Complaints Straight to the Top [gawker.com] - Internet People Dine at Balthazar, Talk Trash - Maer Roshan Needs a Cellphone to Cry On
- Auteur Kevin Smith HEARTS abbe diaz - New York Magazine Displays its Astounding Ignorance also by abbe diaz :
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SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 23, 2007. 11:42AM so. do you believe in signs yet ? yesterday as soon as Moogooloo walked through the door when he came home the very first words out his mouth were: "i just saw that mary-louise whatshername, that actress on Weeds! we just walked past each other... i think she could tell i recognized her... she smiled..." and so i was all "that's cool" -- i wanted to ask him why he didn't just tell her he thinks her show is "the MILF weed" but i refrained cuz i'm pretty sure he wouldn't have gotten the slanguage anyways. anyhoo. so i go to turn on the teevee and guess what was boom! right there starting. apparently it was some kind of Weeds "marathon" they just happened to be playing the last three episodes all in a row. and the next show was JUST about to start i remarked "oh look maybe this is the one we missed!" and i go to check for the info of that upcoming episode on the cable channel guide thingie to see if indeed it's the one we are looking for. and yesssss it's the one we want all right. GUESS what the title of the episode is. it's: "Grasshopper." no fucking joke that was the title. Season Three, Episode Six-- it's called mutherfukking GRASSHOPPER look it up if you don't believe me. ah ha hahahah hahaha aah HE JUST RAN INTO THE STAR THAT AFTERNOON IN THE STREET mmkay ?! it's what popped the idea in his brain to try and catch the episode we missed last week. i turn on the teevee as soon as we walk in the door and voilà THERE IT IS. about to start ! and it's called GRASSHOPPER !!! okay if you don't think that is some crazy whacked out shit, you are totally smoking crack. i mean milfweed.
well whatever, my point is: i'm not exactly sure what to make of all this just yet, but it's funny cuz that day over lunch he read my palm. and yaaaah i know it sounds utterly wackadoo but it all goes back to the "signs" thing. here we go again, over lunch, another "sign" just plops in my lap (or rather my palm i guess, aha haa.) see. here i was all completely losing my marbles what with my mental problems and all, and here comes this ("sagittarius") dude to smack me upside the head with a message from the cosmos... [... sorry! the rest of this entry appears only in PX This Too -- coming soon. ish] • september 23, 2007. "patience, young grasshopper..." • COMMENT on this entry (registration required) |
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THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 20, 2007. 9:17AM i'm sick. i have mental problems.
oh but i did happen to see gisele-bündchen on mercer street the other night though, and she had a big fat pimple in the exact same place so maybe that's not the issue.
so. of course now i wake up this morning and the entire impeccable scenario makes me totally fucking nauseous. urrgh. and yah even though i lie out my face and claim i don't know what the fuck is going on, in reality i got the entire 411 roiling around in my pancreas. so that's why i say i have mental problems. what the fuck is wrong with me-- here all along what have i been saying? i have been whining and wailing and griping how [... sorry! the rest of this entry appears only in PX This Too -- coming soon. ish]• september 20, 2007. "i have mental problems" • COMMENT on this entry (registration required) |
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MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 2007, 6:17PM my boyfriend brian-grazer finally returned my e-mail he told me to "use da pone." anyways. maybe i'm going to LA soon. yay ! oh! yah so this weekend i got another offer but i think maybe this one i just can't refuse [... sorry! the rest of this entry appears only in PX This Too -- coming soon. ish] • september 17, 2007. "another offer" • COMMENT on this entry (registration required) |
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SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 2007. 1:41PM sigh. okay so today started peacefully enough, i was even pretty pleased with myself thinking how it was great i was able to sleep straight through the night a full eight hours for the first time in several weeks. but then the first e-mail (of my Daily Morning Coffee ritual) is a link to a new article thingie about me on mediabistro. ugh. and like, i dunno - THEY came to me and said they wanted to publish my diary. wow. cool!
and jean-michel retorts: "how about a nice shit brown instead." yah. well. y'know. something like that.
oh hahaaa now there's this OTHER new food bloggie "roman à CHEF" (eeheee that's funny no? that's from an online New York Magazine writeup about it) website that's also written by a member of my Forum thingie! sigh. isn't that nice? oh! yah speaking of which. i decided to send an e-mail to my boyfriend brian-grazer this morning [... sorry! the rest of this entry appears only in PX This Too -- coming soon. ish] • september 15, 2007. "how about a nice shit brown" • COMMENT on this entry (registration required) |
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FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 14, 2007. 9:00AM look ---> http://www.mediabistro.com/articles/cache/a9852.asp?pntvs=1 i'm famous ! yay ! here is the text (sshh) cuz unfortunately that link is for subscribers only-- it's a super secret private batcave website specifically for "media" peoples only (you have to sell your soul to afford the price of admission. eeheee just kidding!). so here is what the article says (in case you are wondering):
By Stephanie Burton – September 12, 2007 After 20 years of work in some of the biggest, glitziest, star-studded restaurants in New York City, Abbe Diaz never imagined she'd one day pen a tell-all book, contribute to the New York Post, and host an exclusive, members-only Web forum for restaurant insiders. Below the former hostess, maitre-d, and self-proclaimed "potted plant" explains how she landed in the throes of New York media. In May 2004, you published PX This: The Diary of a Potted Plant, a personal narrative chronicling your years working at Mercer Kitchen, The Park, Smith, Lotus, Theo, 66 and several others. How did this all come about and what does the term "PX this" mean? The term "PX this" is sort of a little stab, almost like an industry curse word. If you're a server and it's the end of a long night, the last thing you want to deal with is a PX. You've been on your feet for hours, dealing with everyone's requests all night and now you're going to have to be extra careful and alert. In your mind you're thinking, "F*ck having to deal with this PX!" which becomes, "PX this!" Publishing a book was not planned. I didn't go to journalism school. [Diaz graduated from Rutgers with a B.A. in economics.] I was out to dinner one night with a group of friends and we were gossiping about one thing or the other. It seemed like every celebrity or VIP that was mentioned, I'd had some kind of experience or interaction with. I'd spent 20 years working for some big-name restaurateurs, especially Jean-Georges [Vongerichten], and there was always a lot going on in his restaurants. Someone said, "You should write a book about all of this!" I'd been keeping a journal on my computer [in Word documents] for years, but I'd never thought about it before. This whole conversation took place around the same time Lauren Weisberger's The Devil Wears Prada was published [early 2003]. The idea of a New York City restaurant roman á clef seemed very possible. A few days after that dinner, a friend of mine called to say she had contacts at Ballantine [Publishing Group] and if I was willing to let her act as my independent agent, she was very confident she could push the book through to the right people. [Diaz asked not to name this particular friend as they are no longer on speaking terms]. Within days, I sent her over 30 or 40 pages from my journal. Since this was your private journal, weren't you worried about revealing things that were excessively personal? Did you change any names or details before sending everything over? Your friend was confident she could put your book in the hands of the right people, but she wasn't a publisher or author. Why did you decide to take her up on her offer? The thing that was truly important to me was the chance to expose the injustices going on at Jean-Georges' restaurants. More times than I can remember, I saw servers lose hard-earned tips because management was taking a share of it. The people who should have been encouraging morale could not have been less interested in the staff. The subtitle of my book, "The Diary of a Potted Plant," is in reference to how I felt when I was working as a hostess for Jean-George. I was as invisible as a potted plant. I thought if a book could publicize any of the wrongdoings, I was more than willing to put my name on it.
Within a few days your friend came back to you with changes and suggestions from the editors she knew. What was the biggest challenge in meeting their requests? My writing had a totally different look and feel. It wasn't the same voice -- it wasn't me. I sounded pompous and vain. I tried to explain to [my friend], "It's not the same book. It's not me!" but she wouldn't listen. Her feeling was, "If you want this to be commercially viable, you have to get over it." My opinion as the author was completely irrelevant. I asked myself, "Why would I make myself look like an asshole, even for $10,000? Is it worth it?" When did you finally decide you couldn't get over it? He explained that even though I wasn't expecting to make much money from the book, I should consider the profits. After the publishing house and my friend took the fees, taxes, and all the other royalties, I wasn't looking at much of a payday. I asked myself, "Why would I make myself look like an asshole, even for $10,000? Is it worth it?" I didn't think so. That's when this lawyer explained to me I had other options. He gave me information about smaller, independent publishing companies that would give me a lot more freedom to publish the book the way I wanted to. Were you worried what your friend would think when you decided to go your own route with a lesser-known publisher? This July, former employees at eight of Vongerichte's restaurants filed a lawsuit claiming they were paid sub-minimum wages, cheated out of overtime, and forced to share tips with their bosses. How does that feel? The book also affected your personal life. Lois Freedman, widely regarded as Jean-Georges's "right-hand woman" had you thrown out of Mercer Kitchen when you went in for drinks one night. If you were going to do it all over again, would you still make the same decisions? Five Things To Know Before Publishing a Tell-All 2) Your idea of a "memoir" might be vastly different from the people who are considering publishing it. 3) The stigma is lifting: Don't be afraid to consider self-publishing. 4) If it's a memoir with your name on it, you better be able to stand by the content. 5) Fight for a product that is true to you. The continuing "sequel" to PX This can be found on Diaz's weblog. Stephanie Burton is a New York-based freelancer.
:) • september 14, 2007. "i'm famous, bitch!" • COMMENT on this entry (registration required) |
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WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 11, 2007. 7:33PM (SEOUL, KOREA TIME) my trip is over. boo :( well. on the one hand it would have been nice to have at least a couple more days to visit. on the other hand i can't wait to get home and have a really good pizza.
bye bye asia! it's been rad.
• september 11, 2007 (cont.) pxthis.com-blahg entry 7:33PM
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 11, 2007. 12:33PM (SEOUL, KOREA TIME) yah so it ends up we did end up flying back to seoul for an extra day after all. and i'm so glad we did! ohmygoodness i don't even know how to begin to describe yesterday. except maybe to say now i'm almost sorry i said all those mean awful things about seoul and the 10,000 BBQ joints all clumped like mushrooms on top of each other. because-- i mean-- holy shit the things i saw and experienced in just one day made me realize that anybody who thinks they really truly know what's up in worldwide F&B and hasn't ever been to visit seoul, clearly doesn't know jack shit. i am not exaggerating at all-- i should probably stop talking now and refrain from yapping away mindlessly for free, no but seriously though. i would never ever have believed it if i hadn't seen it with my very own eyes [... sorry! the rest of this entry appears only in PX This Too -- coming soon. ish] • september 11, 2007. "restaurant consultants' gold" • COMMENT on this entry (registration required) |
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SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 9. 2007. 8:44AM (TOKYO, JAPAN TIME) so tokyo is kinda nice i guess. i mean don't get me wrong now, it's an awesome amazing city and everything is beautiful and the peoples are super sweet, and everywheres you look are these innovative neato ideas and designs and concepts and whatnot (that newyorkers are simply way too stupid to come up with) seriously now. but there really is something about all the western worship that kinda works my every last nerve too. i mean like for example like i said, it's huge. and CROWDED ohmygawd it's unbelievably congested. and all up and down these jampacked corridors of soho are these cute little japanese boys and girls sporting ugly haircuts, bleached tresses, colored contacts, and bad ensembles. at least the boys seem pretty stylish (in comparison) i suppose, but the poor silly girls all look like bad madonna wannabees circa 1986. and everywhere everywhere are advertisements and billboards and brochures and catalogs but all you see are cameron-diaz and gemma-ward or worse just bland blonde B models in every single photograph. oh and of course all of the dozens of thousands of stores are all gucci and prada and louis (oh my) and stupid idiot marc-jacobs. which might be okay, except that in tokyo (unlike seoul) all the clothes inside the stores are all exactly the same ugly shit you find in newyork. instead of a cooler more specialized eastern aesthetic-- which all those design house whores are more than happy to supply (as long as you request it. and are willing to plunk down the $150,000.00 PER SEASON minimum per order). oh hey by the way, if you were from halfway around the world and you asked a newyork native where to go to find better cutting-edge shopping, wouldn't you be just a little bit pissed if they sent your clueless ass to fucking st.marks place? what the hells ?? anyways i guess my point is: in tokyo they emulate superficial pasty round eyed mutherfukkers so much it's utterly ridiculous; in seoul they emulate western culture too but only in so much as it nicely integrates with korean culture.
well NewYorkBar is much smaller in real life than on film and it isn't nearly as pretty either. plus they charge a ¥2,000 cover per person EVEN IF YOU'RE A GUEST OF THE HOTEL (lame lame oh soooo LAME). whatever-- call me a cheap stingy fuck if you like, but i swear for the amount you pay for a goddamned room at theParkHyatt, i think an extra ¥2,000 per person just to sit and have a drink is a total slap across your dumb sucker face. (ah. so. now i realize why it's called NewYorkBar) OH but i should add ohmylord the room is fabulous!
• september 9, 2007. "lost in translation" • COMMENT on this entry (registration required) |
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THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 6, 2007. 5:49PM (SEOUL, KOREA TIME) well so far seoul has been pretty neat even though it took me two full days to really get over the jetlag. it's actually a lot cooler than i thought, everybody is really nice which i seriously wasn't expecting at all (mostly because i lived with three korean girls for two years in college and two of my bestest friends in the world are korean and all of those ladies are absolute bitches). anyhoo. ohmylord i am completely dumbfounded the level of service here it's unbelievable. unfortunately i can't name the hotel i am staying at (it's really great though!) because koreans are evidently insane google freaks and so if i mention the hotel, then the nice peoples who put us up in this place will most likely see it (especially considering how famous my bloggettyblog is here in korea hee heee) and somehow i don't think me yapping all about everything would fly all that well. but yah the service is INCREDIBLE. i probably notice it much more though, because the day before i left nyc i happened to have drinks up at theMandarinOriental@theTWC and geezus christ. uhh correct me if i'm wrong but isn't theMandarin supposed to be like a five star or some shit? holy cow i can't even begin to express how fucking attatoody every single mutherfukker (except my homeboy of course, whom i went to visit) working there was. what in the hells is their problem up there in the fucking mall? oh wait never mind, i know. i commented to homeboy "dude your peeps up here are so wack" and he replied "they're not exactly my peeps. and that's the Union for ya!" so so sad. anyways my point was: the Korean Orientals are making the Mandarin Orientals look like spoiled overpaid union bumblefucks.
seoul has this really funky underground walkway system too (lined all up and down with tiny little shops) which means you can go from place to place to place and never get wet in the rain. i would know-- i just went from my hotel to the next hotel and over to the big shopping center and i didn't need an umbrella even though it's pouring outside. oh and the shopping! holy cow. the one weird thing in seoul though is that there are about 10,000 restaurants on every single block but they all serve the same fucking shit. don't get me wrong now, i looooves me some bibimbop and kimchee but geezus christ. here they have a dozen korean restaurants all next door to each other. oh hah haa that reminds me. i got invited out to dinner the other night to the "best barbecue place in seoul" (ahaha can't name it though, sorry!) and alls i can say is ummm yeeAAH. and i'm not just saying that cuz the place was an HOUR away (no joke) the car went past 6,000 other barbecue joints getting there. i mean it was yummy and all, but if THAT's the best restaurant in seoul then i don't quite know how to break it to them that must mean the best korean place in the WORLD is in fucking new york city. just pulling any random spot in my head without thinking (hmm uhh WooLaeOk?) blows this poor BBQ seoul joint away. the other funny thing is that koreans are really REALLY into shoe repair. seriously. there's a shoe repair kiosk on like every street corner no exaggeration. and they're all FILLED with shoes (mostly men's though. funny) waiting to be shined and repaired. they even shoe-repair flipflops, that is not a joke. eehee i even took a photo of all the flipflops lined up in front of this little kiosk it was so fascinating to me. there's a lot of octopusses here too, they're EVERYWHERE.
• september 6, 2007. "seoul got soul" • COMMENT on this entry (registration required) |
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WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 2007. 4:12PM (SEOUL, KOREA TIME) now that have a minute i want to tell all about the funny business lunch yesterday, before it totally flies out of my head. okay is it me or does this sound like some crazy bizarro cosmic other plane past life twilight zone freakishness or what. check it: so i go to this business lunch meeting with a bunch of serious suited korean dudes. mind you now, the only reason i was invited to this korean businessman lunch meeting is because i used to work for juan-jorge . this is why last minute they insissssted i join them (even though i have absolutely zero reason to be in seoul,korea-- basically i'm just a stowaway in a steamer trunk). okay sothen one of the serious koreans (the only one who speaks comprehensible english) starts recounting to me all about how... [sorry! the rest of this entry appears only in PX This Too -- coming soon. ish] • september 5, 2007. "business lunch with the koreans" • COMMENT on this entry (registration required) |
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TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 2007 2:45AM (SEOUL, KOREA TIME) so summer's over. geezus i know i have a lot of catching up to do. i didn't realize at all how much time this Forum thingie i launched was going to eat up. it kind of took off all on its own in this really freaky wayward direction and now it's as though i'm taking care of some hyper little shihtzu all day long. y'know-- one that's like totally adorable and cuddly and scrunchy and stuff, but yaps its head off incessantly whenever it gets excited and pisses all over the fucking house.
oh! yah oh i guess that's another reason i've been neglectful too-- maybe without any "ending" in sight, the diary thingie just took a total back seat. or more like even a whole other different car or something. but! now i guess the "ending" is in sight. and it's funny cuz it's pretty much the very same "ending" i kind of have been waiting for.
oh!! mygawd. YOU HAVE NO IDEA well. it was really so so totally wackadoo cuz on like the SECOND DAY this Forum thing was up and running, i suddenly get this new self-registered "member" named "Brook" who logged online and just started commenting-- she starts bitching about Mogul (MY Mogul!) and how she "used to work for" him and that she "can't wait to see him fail." and she was really mean too she called him nasty ugly names which was so totally completely uncalled for. and so OF COURSE immediately i get all riled up (but kinda a little inwardly thrilled too-- how this totally major industry "issue" just like boom landed right smack in my frikkin lap ahahahaa) and i go ahead and tell that creepy bitch off. and so i smacked that Freak down (ahahaa old school mackdaddy-affleck style) with one fell swoop i made that dumb rabid cunt look straight up stupid. wouldn't you know like a couple days later i would be informed the i.p. address of that particular commenter is from the very same bank as where Mogul's former chef's girlfriend works. ANYWAYS so now THIS particuiar website (it's called eateroofucker.com or something like that) then jumps ALL OVER MY SHIT i am not even kidding this is not a joke at all.
oh ahahah hah ahaha hahaaha so then GET THIS like the NEXT DAY, a grasshopper-- yah you heard right i said a goddamned mutherfukking GRASSHOPPER-- (fully formed and practically still alive an'shit) ends up INSIDE a luncheon sandwich wrap (all smiley and posing for the cameras-- no joke with Lighting, Makeup, Hair and the whole fucking bit) that just HAPPENS to be sold -- guess where!-- from one of Mogul's multitudinous mogully joints. and just WHERE does this fabulous beautiful masterpiece of a Demarchelier grasshopper end up, you ask? why, in the e-mail inbox of eateroofucker.com of course!! sent to them ANONYMOUSLY no less.
ha ha ha ahahah ahaa you think i can make this shit up? i can't.
OH. so that reminds me! yah so here i am... minding my own business (literally, i mean)... taking care of this pissy little shihtzu... and suddenly again TOTALLY OUT OF NOWHERES some other "food blog scandal" pops up. and it's this new bloggettyblogger named Sympathy For the Restaurant Industry ("S4RI" for short) and apparently what they do is tell stories about silly F&Bers but instead of giving it all up straight in yer face like i do, they add flowery adjectives and descriptive settings and high falutin made up names for all the "characters" getting all thinly veiled roman à clef up in yer ass. now. just take a GUESS who suddenly gets the heat on this one too. and like, look don't get me wrong it's not as if i mind or anything. cuz the "new foodblog scandal" thingie is actually pretty decent. and funny. and engaging. and pretty enthralling. evidently but then! fucking gawker.com jumps all over my friggin waterlogged ass. no seriously i am not even kidding. i was so livid reading all this shit about how i'm "napoleonic" and "batshit crazy" and filled with "vitriol and petty anger" how it's merely MY "PERCEPTION" that the restaurant industry is filled with "perfidious backstabbing" (as though johnny-g ISN'T dealing with a fucking class action lawsuit for allegedly STEALING TIPS FROM HIS EMPLOYEES this very fucking minute as we speak, right?) i swear to gawd i was so ready to ride my badassed ninja straight into that crosby street office and slap that stupid josh-stein ignorasshole straight across his mutherfukking face. but did i? nooooo of course i didn't. the thing that gets me SO MAD is that RIGHT at the very same moment all this bullshit is happening, this uhh pretty powerful umm executive type person is googling my name and WHAT do you think is the first thing that pops up? "Abbe Diaz is Batshit Crazy." and do you think gawker.com BOTHERED to acknowledge my totally awesome brilliant response and amend their "item" on me? no of course they didn't THOSE COCKSUCKING MUTHERFUKKERS. you don't even know. i am so tempted to e-write "Joshua David Stein is a Syphilitic Wife Beater with Pedophilic Tendencies and a Laughably Tiny Little Penis" and post that shit all over the interwebs and then hire one of those scammy companies with all the indians in the cubicles who do nothing but click on links all day trying to raise hit counts so it climbs to the top of the google lists. but i won't.
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© 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008 Abbe Diaz. All Rights Reserved.
= "personne extraordinaire"
